Needs of Men & Women, are we really that much different?

We have heard of the book Men are from Mars, Women are form Venus, but are we really that much different? Here we look into the needs of men and women in marriages, but l guess the same thing can apply these days for people living together. The institution of marriage is something that is viewed by society as one of the most important commitments that a man and a woman can ever make (for those of us who actually believe in marriage, as there are some of us who say the piece of paper is not necessary).

We all say marriage needs love, care, understanding and commitment from both the partners however does anyone analyze the difference of needs of men and women. Both of them enter a relationship but with different requirement. Many relational problems evolve because men try to meet needs they would value, and women do the same. The problem is that since the needs of men and women are often so different, we waste effort trying to meet the wrong needs. If we are truly committed to valuing our life partner, we must not only understand and appreciate our partner's differences, but we must commit ourselves to meeting his or her unique needs.

Men usually enter a relationship or marriage expecting their mate/lover to be a playmate and share their recreational interests. Women enter a relationship or marriage hoping to find a loyal best friend. Lets focus on the needs of men and women as two separate entities. May be this theory helps us in weaving a better relationship.

Needs of Women:

Love and Affection: Affection is extremely important. It symbolizes security, protection, comfort, and approval. Every women dreams of a loving and caring husband or partner. However the definition of affection differs from person to person. To some women priority is security, protection, comfort, and approval. However To most women affection symbolizes kisses, cards, flowers, dinners out, opening the car door, holding hands, walks after dinner, back rubs, phone calls. Thus, a man needs to understand the perception of his wife to keep her satisfied.

Discussion: Mostly wives want to speak to their husband regarding everything happening around. They want to discuss and share, lots of two way conversation. Prior to marriage mostly couples spend time in talking however things changes after marriage which is not correct. Every one has a right to expect same love and care from their partner that prevailed during courtship period. Every problem has a solution when you speak out so communication between couples is very important.

Loyalty: Honesty is one of the secret of a successful marriage. Trust creates a never ending bond among two people. Mistrust destroys a woman's marital security. If a husband does not keep up honest communication with his wife, he eventually undermines her trust and destroys any hope of security. Trust gives a sense of security that is the common thread woven through all of a woman's five basic needs. Trust means to believe. I trust you, means I have no doubt in my mind about your honesty, integrity and credibility. No relationship can survive without trust. If you don't trust a person, but think you may love him/her, your relationship will not survive in the end, because you have no trust in him/her where will that lead you.

Financial security: A wife always wants her husband to be responsible towards family. After a loving husband he needs a good father who can fill all possible needs of his family. She needs a family commitment. The vast majority of women who get married have a powerful instinct to create a home and have children. Above all, wives want their husbands to take a leadership role in the family and to commit themselves to the moral and educational development of their children. A successful husband should be responsible and committed towards family.

Needs of men:

Sexual Satisfaction: Just as women crave affection, so too do men want sex. And they don't just want their wives to make their bodies available (and l must say it is always on their mind 24/7!). They need to feel their wife is as invested in sex as they are. For Men satisfaction in sex life is very much important in marriage. Men are more affectionate and caring towards their partner once they are having a happy sex relationship. Its very important for a women to understand the need of her husband. Deep need of affection and sex are two ingredients that can work very closely together in a happy, fulfilled marriage.

Recreational Companionship: Before you were married, chances are pretty good that you planned your dates around your favorite recreational activities. That's because when it's an important emotional need, recreational companionship can often deposit enough love units to trigger romantic love. And since you wanted your relationship to flourish, you probably chose activities that you both enjoyed. Most couples after marriage joins their friends in recreational activities and enjoys most and leaves their partner to find their own recreational companions for activities that interest them. That's a formula for marital disaster. For a successful marriage wife should be a playmate as among the five basic male needs, spending recreational time with his wife is second only to sex for the typical husband. Always try to spend quality time with your husband and participate in activities they enjoy doing may be hunting, fishing, playing football, and watching sports or movies.

An attractive spouse: A man has a deep carving for a beautiful wife. Apart from a nice heart they want a gorgeous face too. He wants her to dress in clothes he likes and do her hair in a style that is appealing to him. Try to keep yourself fit and charming. Be presentable when you go for a party or get together. They feel proud to introduce their beautiful wife to their friends.

Domestic help: Every romance needs a home. Building that home involves bringing in a steady and sufficient income; making ends meet and saving for the future by using a budget. Domestic support involves the creation of a peaceful and well-managed home environment. It includes cooking meals, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, house cleaning and child care, which can be done by both people in a relationship.

A husband and wife give each other domestic support as they work together to address these needs. They must share the workload so that both are able to get needed rest and relaxation. The male need for his wife to "take care of things"-especially him-is widespread, persistent, and deep.

Respect and Admiration: Honest admiration is a great motivator for most men. When a woman tells her husband (who has been sweating it out at work) that she thinks he's wonderful, it inspires him and keeps him going. A man deeply needs his woman to respect his knowledge, opinions and decisions. A man tends to think of life as a competition and a battle. Your man can give it his all and duke it out if he can come home to someone who supports him unconditionally, who will wipe his brow and tel him he can do it.

You must read Willard F. Harley's popular book "His Needs, Her Needs" to understand the needs of relationship in detail.

Remember, if you commit yourself to meeting the unique needs of your partner, you will become irresistible to each other and insure faithfulness in your marriage. You will build a relationship that sustains romance, increases intimacy, and deepens awareness year after year.

(Source: marriagebuilders.com, cyberparent.com)