Before You Scare Him Away
By : Dawn Bowman
Dating someone new is an incredibly fun and exciting time. It can also be confusing and stressful. In the first few weeks and even months of dating someone new, I personally feel both overwhelming happiness and unbearable nervousness.
What if I do something wrong and scare him off? What if he doesn’t like me when he really gets to know me? Will my friends like him? Will his friends like me? What about his family?
Thankfully many common dating mistakes CAN be prevented and these tips for avoiding the number 1 dating don’t can help.
What’s the #1 Dating Don’t?
Don’t Cling! Regardless of how much you’re head over heels for him or how much you think he likes you, take it slow at first. Be sure to give your new love interest plenty of breathing room and just go with the flow.
Why Do Women Cling?
As women, when we are intimate with someone, there are actually chemicals in our bodies that cause us to feel strongly connected to that person. In the past, those chemicals helped humans survive by encouraging committed relationships where children could be born and cared for.
When Nature Turns On Us
Unfortunately, those same chemicals that helped our ancestors form relationships may backfire on us now. Along with all of the excitement and confusion of a new relationship, our bodies and instincts tell us to cling to that other person. That clinginess often scares guys and can mean an abrupt end to the relationship before it even really had a chance to get started.
It’s Not Just You…
Many women report that even after sleeping with someone just one time, their brains already start thinking about the future and what a relationship would be like with the person and what their life would be like together 10 years from now, 50 years from now, etc. We start planning our future together before even really knowing whether or not we’re compatible.
Why It’s A Dating Don’t
Although these types of thoughts are totally natural, it can be a major dating don’t in our modern world. When we start clinging to our new love interest and expecting more from them than they’re ready to give, many men are quick to run away in the opposite direction.
Before You Scare Him Away…
Although you may not be able to stop those feelings of connection and seemingly reflexive plans for a future, it’s important that you do get them under control before you scare your new love interest away.
It’s Not Just Him…
Believe it or not, there ARE still men in the world who ARE interested in a long-term relationship, marriage, kids, and generally going the distance. Even those diamonds in the rough, however, can easily be scared off if you start clinging too soon.
Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
The next time you feel yourself giving in to the desire to forge a deep connection and attachment (and to ultimately cling), do yourself a favor and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that at least part of your feelings come from chemicals in your body that are trying to trick you into settling down. Even if doing exactly that is your final goal, take it slow and remind yourself to enjoy the journey.