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Is Bisexuality Just A Stop On the Train To Gay Town?
05-Jun-2012
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Many people believe that being bisexual is just a stop on the train to gay town. I’ve heard people say that, “bisexuals just can’t make up their minds,” or “bisexuals are just gay people who can’t commit.” I’ve even been told that being bisexual is somehow sluttier than being specifically straight or gay.
Let’s explore these common misconceptions about being bisexual…
As we saw on Saturday, when Drew Barrymore married her boyfriend Will Kopelman, bisexuals CAN and DO commit.
Billie Joe Armstrong, singer of the band Green Day told The Advocate in a 1995 interview, “I think I’ve always been bisexual… It’s a beautiful thing.” Which leads me to believe that if he’s always been bisexual, he likely always will be – whether he’s with a man or a woman. So apparently it’s not just a stop on the way to gay town.
What about the bisexuals who marry someone of the opposite gender? I’ve heard guys joking around that it’s ok to sleep with a bisexual woman, but you can’t marry one because she’ll obviously leave you for a woman when she decides she’s a lesbian. (Male fantasy side note – dreaming of a threesome with two women and actually having one are entirely different things.)
When a bisexual does get married – either to someone of the same or opposite gender, what happens to those “other” feelings? If a bisexual woman marries a man, will she leave him someday for a woman?
Obviously without my crystal ball in front of me, there’s no way I, (or anyone else), can answer that. But there’s always the possibility that a bisexual woman would leave her husband for another man as well. Does the gender of the person she leaves her husband for really matter? Isn’t leaving just… leaving?
As a bisexual woman, I’d like to clear up a few things for the folks who still don’t get it…
Being bisexual isn’t about being greedy or an inability to commit. It doesn’t mean that I’ll eventually be a lesbian or that I’m already secretly a lesbian and scared to admit it.
For me, being bisexual simply means that I find both men and women attractive. It’s not specifically about sex and it’s certainly NOT about making porn or fulfilling some guy’s threesome fantasy. I’m simply open to my feelings about both men and women.
What do you think? Are you or do you know any bisexual men or women? Are they in committed relationships? Do you think bisexuality is a stop on the train to gay town?
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