Should You Move In With Your Boyfriend?
So your boyfriend has asked you to move in, but are you ready? And will moving in with your boyfriend change your relationship? Of course it will! But whether it changes in a good or bad way is certainly something you need to consider before taking this major jump.
Although moving in with a boyfriend before marriage may not carry the same social stigma it did 50 years ago, you should still give it some serious thought before saying, "I do." In the United States, more than 50% off couples live together before getting married. Their reasons are many and varied, but mostly commonly they move in together because of one or a combination of the following:
Why Couples Move In Together
- Economic Factors - Why pay for 2 house or 2 apartments, etc when you're spending nearly every night together already? Moving in together can help save money.
- Testing the Waters - Moving in together also allows folks to test their compatibility in ways they otherwise wouldn't be able to do. You really get to know someone on an entirely different level when you live with them (in good and bad ways, but more on that later).
- Legal Reasons - Some couples choose to live together for one or more legal reasons. When one person has recently separated from a previous spouse, or recently gotten a divorce, there may be legal and monetary repercussions of them getting married. Therefore living together without getting married can save them a lot of hassles and may even save them money.
Ok. Sounds great, right? What's the catch? Well…
Disadvantages of Moving In With Your Boyfriend
- It's Harder to Leave - Once you've moved in with him (or he's moved in with you), it's a lot harder to break up. There's much more collateral damage than there would have been had you both kept your own places. But you’re starry-eyed and optimistic that you'll never break up, right?
- Clouded Judgment - If living together is a step on the way to marriage or at least life-long commitment, moving in together too early may actually cloud your judgment about your boyfriend. While you still live apart, you have your own space to really analyze if he's the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Once you move in together, things have a way of becoming blurry.
- Cohabitation Doom - Recent studies show that 80% of couple who live together before marriage eventually break up.
Is there something about living together that dooms a relationship? That's beyond the scope of this article to analyze. Regardless, before you move in with your boyfriend, take a step back from the situation and genuinely weigh your options. Also seek the input of close friends and family members. Often those who love us the most can be the only ones strong enough to tell us the truth - even if that truth hurts.