Once your child bites someone, you feel panic, embarrassment and horror. You do not know where to look or what to do! Why did this happen? Am l to blame? You ask yourself is something wrong with my child? Let me reassure you, biting is quite common among young children. It happens for different reasons with different children and under different circumstances.
Parents can do lots of things to help prevent and solve this problem. Before approaching to end the problem look at why it is happening. Due to their limited language and our limited "mind-reading" skills, we are unable to really know exactly what their thinking! Some developmental theorists suggest that biting may be a form of exploration, but as parents we can make some educated guesses.
Biting happens for many reasons with different children in a variety of circumstances.
Teething: For teething toddlers, biting feels good to sore gums. To prevent teething toddlers from biting other children, keep plenty of chew able toys around. A frozen wash cloth can help to sooth a child's gums. Frozen bagels or chewy food like bananas are good to bite.
Experimenter: Toddlers learn about the world through their senses. They touch, squeeze and taste new things around them. To them it feels natural to bite. To prevent them from biting others, give children plenty of colorful washable toys to grab, bite and chew on.
Independence: Toddlers are learning how their actions can make things happen. Sometimes biting is a way for them to feel in control of a situation. Children need positive opportunities to take control. Give them simple choices to help them feel independent. If your child is likely to bite another child to get a toy, offer some other toys. Say "Would you like to play with your truck or doll?" or "Would you like to swing or ride in the wagon?"
Anxiety: Sometimes a lot of noise and activity are too much to handle. If a child has trouble calming down in the middle of all the commotion, he or she may lose control and bite another child. A stressful experience, like the divorce of parents or being separated from parents, also can cause a child to feel tense. When you provide comfort, reassurance and a break from active situations, a child will be less likely to bite.
| Attention seeker: Children sometimes bite because they get a strong reaction from adults or other children who are around. In this case, preventing biting takes careful watching. When it looks as though your child is ready to bite, remain calm. Instead of reacting with angry attention, redirect your child's attention. Say, "Would you like to look at a book with me or play in the sand?" Also, if children get attention for positive behavior, they will be less likely to bite to get a reaction. Make sure to notice your child when he or she does what you like. Say, "I like it when you play next to your friend. Can you show me how you use your shovel?" |  |
Competition: Toddlers are old enough to actively play next to other children, but they don't understand cooperation and sharing. Putting them together can lead to competition over space, toys and attention. For example, Jamie may have bitten because Casey was too close or had a toy she wanted. At age two, Jamie can't understand another person's feelings.
She doesn't realize that her bite hurts. This is why she may look confused and frightened by the reaction she gets. Provide plenty of space and toys for toddlers and preschool children. Give them room to explore. You may also redirect children who are competing for toys or space to another activity. It takes many years to learn to share, but bites will decrease as children mature. Teach about sharing by sharing your time and by playing cooperatively with your child.
 |
Frustration: Toddlers do not yet have the ability to put their feelings into words. They can't explain "I feel tense," "I want attention," or "I want that toy." Biting is one way to release frustration. Teach children to use words when frustrated. For example say to your toddler, "If your playmate, is in your way, say, "Please move" Praise children when they begin to use words instead of biting, pushing or hitting. Even if the word is "Mine!" or "No!", it's preferable to biting. |
Imitation: Young children who bite may be imitating other children. In this case, parents and childcare providers will have to work hard to break the cycle. They will have to watch children closely and use the methods described above to prevent bites.
Biting is frightening for children and exhausting for parents. It may seem like a never-ending ordeal. However, most children stop biting when they learn to talk and express their feelings, needs and desires. In the meantime, take steps to prevent biting.
 |
I found this great book you may want to invest in. It is called "Teeth are not biting" Get your young ones understanding with this great board book showing what teeth are for (chewing and smiling) and explaining times when they might want to bite - like when teething or when mad, sad, or cranky - but that teeth are not for biting. And to use their words and get a hug instead. Includes tips for parents and caregivers on teething and biting. |
Remember
Mostly people say bite your child if he bites someone. But this is absolutely wrong conception. Never hit or bite a child for biting. This communicates that biting is an acceptable way to work out problems, even if it hurts others. If a biting incident occurs, stay calm and respond quickly. Give the child who was been bitten your attention first, tend to the wound, and reassure him or her. Then turn your attention to your child, who did the biting. Calmly and firmly tell your child that he or she is not allowed to bite and that biting hurts.
(Sources: handinhandparenting.org , nncc.org)
