How can you help your child to cope with Fear?

Every children have fears at some point in their life and it is usually considered to be a normal part of development. However, as the famous saying goes: Access of everything is bad" in the same manner if the fear interferes with normal activities parents must take care and help the child to overcome fear. You need to understand that the fear is rational or irrational. For example, it is normal for a 2 year old to be afraid of sitting on the potty, but it would be irrational for an 8 year old to have the same fear.

Different Kinds of Fears include: 

Simple Fears among Toddlers: fear of separation, noises, falling, animals and insects, using the potty, bathing and bedtime Preschool age: fears of animals and insects, monsters and ghosts, getting lost, divorce, loss of a parent and bedtime.  School age children: They normally have simple fears of separation, noises, falling, new situations (especially starting school) and bedtime in younger children, and social rejection, war, new situations, and burglars in older children.

In children of all ages, fears may also increase during times of stress (new baby, moving, divorce, etc). They may also develop a fear after a triggering event, such as falling in the water, touching something hot, or being chased by a dog. Some children are more fearful of things, even common things, than others and this is usually a function of his type of temperament. Also, children who have parents that are very anxious or fearful, or who tend to overreact to things, often have children who have the same reactions in similar situations.

Though it's important to be supportive when your child is fearful, your ultimate goal should be to help her feel more competent in new situations. Be patient. In time, she'll forward boldly -- know that you'll be there for her if she needs help when your child is fearful, your ultimate goal should be to help

Pointers for parents to deal with your child's fears:

• Encourage you child to speak and discuss what they feel. Listen to what they say. Provide comfort and assurance that address their specific fears. Its okay to admit you can't answer all of their questions.
• Communicate with your children in a way they can understand. Don't get too technical or complicated. Always remember they are too small to understand your grown up mind so talk on their level.

Try to make your child focus on the positive aspects of life. Reinforce the fact that most people are kind and caring. Remind your child of the heroic actions taken by ordinary people to help victims of tragedy. Children mostly draw or play out what in their mind so pay attention on whatever they do. Your children's play and drawings may give you a glimpse into their questions or concerns. Ask them to tell you what is going on in the game or the picture. It's an opportunity to clarify any misconceptions, answer questions, and give reassurance.

• Establish a family emergency plan for the future, such as a meting place where everyone should gather if something unexpected happens in your family or neighborhood. It can help you and your children feel safer.
• You can only help your child once you are aware what frightens them so encourage your children to talk about fears they may have. They may worry that someone will harm them at school or that someone will try to hurt you.
• Respect your child's feelings and fears. It is not helpful to use put downs, such as 'your being a baby for being afraid of that,' or to try and ignore the things that he is afraid of.

Don't be overprotective and let him avoid all of the things that he is afraid of, but you also don't want to try and force your child into doing something he is afraid to do. Don't overreact, so that your extra attention reinforces your child's reactions. Remind him of other things or times in the past that he was afraid of, and for which he is no longer has fears. Make sure you are not responsible for the fear because sometimes fear in children is triggered by repeated parental warning and because of this it is important to be aware of your own fears and find ways of dealing with them.

Suggestions for helping your baby cope with ‘separation anxiety' and fear of strangers includes:

• Whenever possible at home, if the baby gets upset when you leave, take your baby with you from room to room or talk to them when you are out of sight.
• Tell your baby when you are leaving the room (or going out) and announce your arrival when you come back this helps them to trust you.
• Allow your baby to get to know new people from the safety of your lap. Let them see that you know the new person is OK first.
• If your baby is anxious, reassure them with a calm and confident expression.
• Leaving your baby to ‘cry it out' will only heighten their anxiety.

If a fear seems like it is turning into a phobia, with your child not responding to repeated reassurances or not being able to be distracted away from the fear, especially if the fears are interrupting his development or daily activities, then you should seek professional treatments from a child psychologist.

(Sources: mentalhealth.samhsa.gov, parents.com, healthvisitors.com)