Breakups suck. But most of the time, they are for the best. Repeat this to yourself every day. Time to get over it, get happy, and get a move on! Here are some tips.
‘Keeping in touch’ and ‘staying friends’ might seem doable, but maintaining contact keeps you stuck in your past. So, at least at first, cut off all contact. Take him off newsfeed, remove him from Gchat, delete from your phone, etc. You might also need to take a temporary break from mutual friends.
Take a Trip
Go somewhere totally opposite. If you’re in a city, try a spa weekend in the country. If you’re in a smaller town, go party in the city with your best friend. If travel isn’t in the budget, try new places. You need new situations and stimulations to keep you from wallowing in the past.
Invest in a Vibrator
On a practical note, you’ll need something to distract you from sex withdrawal and make things feel like less of a dry spell. And honestly, a good vibrator can deliver better and more consistent pleasure than your ex.
Eat Healthy, Work Out, Dress the Part
Don’t become the iconic post breakup girl, lounging on the couch with her new boyfriends Ben and Jerry. You will move on faster by eating healthier and working out more. Release those endorphins! Similarly, don’t lounge in sweats. Rock outfits you feel hottest in, and wear that sexy lingerie. Feel great about how you look on the outside, and you’ll feel better on the inside.
Pamper Yourself, Make Plans, Stay Busy
Put the focus back on you, not the relationship. Get a massage, make plans with friends during the week, try out new hobbies…now is the time! De-clutter your life (in general, and especially with anything of his) to clear your head and make room for the new.
...But Allow Yourself to Cry
Some occasional nights you’ll need to express your grief and allow yourself to heal. But, end on a positive note (bubble bath anyone?) and keep on. If you’re obsessing, try getting your thoughts out in a journal.
Don’t demonize or idolize your ex. The former will make you bitter, the latter will make it so no one else can compare. Make an honest pros and cons list for a complete picture. Remind yourself that the guy you are ultimately meant to be with is still out there, so why bother staying hung up on your ex?
Fake It Until You Make It
Tried and true. Even if you aren’t over him, act like you are. Act one way and your brain and feelings will soon follow. Go out, flirt with guys, boost your confidence, have a good time. Eventually, one day you will realize you aren’t pretending anymore.
When it comes time to go out with someone new, make sure you’re ready and can have fun with it… as in, you won’t take things personally if it doesn’t progress.