Taylor Armstrong of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills wanted to hug Russell Armstrong's body when EMTs pronounced him dead.
In the continuation of her interview with Entertainment Tonight, Taylor said, "I did not [see his body]. I asked the -- and I'm sure a lot of people won't understand this -- but I asked the emergency workers if I could go in and hug him before they took him away but they wouldn't let me."
"I just felt like I needed to see him one last time, but they wouldn't let me," she said tearfully.
"I'm now wearing his wedding ring and mine together," Taylor said. "Right now I'm still doing anything I can to figure out how to get close to him. I still have the last shirt he wore before the night of and sometimes I sit in my closet with it 'cause maybe I think I'm gonna get insight or maybe I just need to feel close to him."
She blamed reality TV for her estranged spouse's death. "I can't say what he was thinking at the time [of his death], but what I can say is that I believe that if it weren't for the cameras, there's a chance i wouldn't be sitting here with you today," Taylor said of Russell,